Real Intimacy

I was listening to a podcast not too long ago and they were talking about the short life of Gram Parsons and the music he made. He was well-known in the country music scene in the 60’s and 70’s, specifically his collaboration with Emmylou Harris. To this day, one of the prettiest things to ever enter my ears is hearing a Gram Parsons/Emmylou Harris duet. Their voices complimented one another so well, it was no wonder the pair teamed towards the end of Parsons’ life.

Because their working relationship and the music they made was so personal and vulnerable, it left many people to wonder if Gram and Emmylou were ever together romantically. Gram was married up until his death and Emmylou has denied the rumors. While it’s fun to speculate the what ifs and did theys, the only ones who know the truth are the two of them and one of them has already taken that secret to the grave.

But it broaches the topic of intimacy. What intimacy truly is. Taking the truth stated by Emmylou at face value, Gram and Emmylou had a certain intimacy with one another whether or not they were together romantically. In the end, does it really matter? We can hear in their music they shared something they couldn’t share with anyone else. That’s real intimacy.

In my journey in being more vulnerable and figuring out what intimacy is, I’ve realized I’ve been vulnerable and I’ve been intimate with someone special. Maybe it wasn’t romantic or physical but there are things I’ve shared with him I’ve never shared with other people. Experiences we’ve had together that felt like only the two of us understood in that moment. For the longest time, I never thought I could be intimate with another person, especially a man. It hit me like a ton of bricks I have and can. I’m not an unlovable, cold creature who is so adamant keeping everyone at a distance that I’m unable to break down barriers and bare part of my soul to another. I don’t see him so much anymore because he lives on the opposite coast, but these intimate moments we’ve had have bound us together for an eternity, and I am forever grateful for that and the other intimate moments we’ll have in the future. What those intimate moments look like will depend on time and experience, but I’m glad he has those moments from me. That he holds the most delicate parts of myself that no one else gets to have. I can’t think of anything more special than that to have.