David Lynch is mine. He was never yours to begin with. His name has been apart of my online identity for 13+ years. Mulholland Drive is my favorite film of all time. One of the writers of Twin Peaks was my college professor. David Lynch was never yours to begin with. He's forever off limits. You can watch Blue Velvet all you want with your new girlfriend but I stole your heart during Eraserhead.

You can keep Amelie. That movie hasn't been a favorite of mine in a long time, anyway. The painful memories of cuddling with you on the couch while watching it on our second date makes listening to the score too painful to bear. I'm keeping Ghost World, though. You only had a crush on Enid Coleslaw, but I have identified with her since middle school.

I'll let you keep My Neighbor Totoro and Princess Mononoke and I'll split Kiki's Delivery Service with you. Miyazaki was more of your thing, anyway even though I do adore his work. I regret letting you see me weep during My Neighbor Totoro and that's something I'll never get back from you. However Creep is mine. I suggested it to you and the Duplass brothers will always be mine to keep.

I'm willing to split Depeche Mode and Joy Division with you. We both have deep connections to the band and early childhood memories of listening to Depeche Mode. Their music will forever be embedded in us. I'll begrudgingly give you Beach House. Us driving around Orange County blaring "Wishes" strikes a raw nerve, making them almost unlistenable at this point. 

I'll also let you keep the 80's pop music. The 90's was more my thing, plus it was the better decade. And don't you fucking dare take Amanda Palmer away from me. I'm the only reason why you know she exists and she's the reason why I'm getting through this broken heart you gave me.

Laguna Beach and the whole Newport Beach area is yours to keep. It's too fucking bougie for me anyway. Riverside and Corona are obviously yours because the Inland Empire is fucking garbage. I'll take West Hollywood. Brea is mine (including Elbows, you slick fuck), as is Fullerton and the whole Long Beach area. You can have half of Los Angeles, it's big enough for the both of us to share without having to bump into one another. 

You can have all the memories we amassed for the year we were together. I don't need them anymore. All I ask is that you let me keep the sliver of dignity I have left and we'll call it even.