Best of 2018

Guys, let’s be honest—2018 was a shit show. Not only was it terrible politically (I have a feeling that’s not going to change in the next two years), but personally it was terrible for me. I dealt with a lot of change, financial hardship, and the first half of the year I struggled to stay afloat with a severe bout of depression. It was downright ugly.

Despite the fact 2018 proved itself to be shittier than Donald Trump’s mouth or Mitch McConnell’s ugly ass jowls, there were some good things sprinkled throughout that helped dull the pain of this year. I’m not ranking anything, but rather reviewing the bright spots about 2018.

Movies

Eight Grade (Dir. Bo Burham)

Easily one of the most poignant, touching, intensely awkward films of the year was Eighth Grade. This is a film anyone can relate to, especially girls who have been or are currently in eighth grade. It brought me back to a time when puberty was just settling in, my hormones were getting into gear and every new emotion was on hyperdrive. The ages between 12-15 years old is such a hard phase to go through because you feel like you’re an adult when your reproductive system is developing yet you’re still too young to make any good decisions because you’re horny all the time. Bo Burham does an excellent job capturing that era in life that many of us have tried so desperately to forget. I could barely handle being that age when I was that age fifteen years ago, I don’t know how I would survive in an era of social media, advanced technology and rampant school shootings. The most touching scene comes towards the end of the film where there is an amusing but sweet heart to heart between a father to his daughter that keeps the scene realistic without being too saccharine.

Sorry To Bother You (Dir. Boots Riley)

An openly proud Communist wrote and directed a critically acclaimed film about the working class and how to combat Capitalism. With black leads. In 2018. Really.

The part was initially written for Donald Glover, as he was set to star in this film. However it was a conflict for filming Star Wars, so he had to drop out but not before recommending Lakeith Stanfield, his co-star on Atlanta, for the lead role. If I am going to be honest, I can’t imagine anyone else playing the part but Stanfield. He brings wit, charm and brilliance to the role to Cash, a man who adopts a white man’s voice to better assimilate himself in the telemarketing world. It promises him respect, money, women but as he goes further down the rabbit hole he slowly begins to realize what he’s really getting from the job and it’s hardly pretty.

His girlfriend, Detroit, played by the vivacious Tessa Thompson, is a constant reminder of his roots, what it means to be working class and why that necessarily isn’t a bad thing. The film can feel like it’s getting off the rails at certain points, but it exemplifies the dangers of Capitalism—how it shapes communities, harms workers, destroys lives. It’s a refreshing film that gives me hope the film industry is slowly getting back its roots, making interesting, original content again that will put butts back into theater seats and reinvigorate a new generation of filmmakers.

You Were Never Really Here (Dir. Lynne Ramsay)

Let me first say I love Joaquin Phoenix. I have loved him for nearly half my life. He can make any film great by merely being in it (and yes, I have forgiven him for making I’m Still Here). Phoenix is one of the few actors in this world that is just naturally gifted when it comes to appearing on screen—he knows exactly what to do, when to do it and how to deliver it. This film is no different—every gesture, nod of the head, raise of an eyebrow, bits of silence are deliberately made with thoughtful introspection into his character.

Also, Joaquin Phoenix is hot as fuck.

But I digress. You Were Never Really Here is a hauntingly beautiful film about a hitman who is on the job to find a Senator’s kidnapped daughter. It’s only when the job is near completion when things get twisted and downright weird. But good weird, almost Lynchian. But still weird, very weird. But good.

Had this been directed by a man, I feel like this film would play into violent stereotypes with way more blood, exploitation of young women and abundant misogyny. The fact this was directed by a woman, we get the tense silences to fully soak in the severity of the situation these characters find themselves in. We appreciate the nuances in the relationship between the hitman and daughter. We get a better glimpse into the hitman’s inner psyche, how he came to be, why he does what he does. It’s subtle without confusing the audience. You Were Never Really Here respects the viewer enough to showcase a Taken-esque storyline without schticks or gimmicks to keep the story interesting—it’s the things that aren’t said, the actions that aren’t taken—that keeps the viewer wanting more.

Shirkers (Dir. Sandi Tan)

There are movers, there are shakers and then there are shirkers…

I just watched this documentary a few days ago and I’m still thinking about it. This documentary by Sandi Tan paints the picture of what it’s like for a young girl enamored with film to want to go out and make her own movies in a country that has such strict laws that it’s illegal to chew gum. It feels like such a daunting task, and as someone who had a hard time just creating a five minute short in college, creating your own feature seems like science fiction because how does anyone really make and complete an entire feature film?

Tan and her good friends run across a random stranger who is twice their age but gives them the confidence and funds to pursue their lifelong dreams, following the footsteps of their favorite auteurs. The stranger brings along promise, invigoration, intrigue but also a mystery that follows them well after the filmmaking process.

As someone who has “You Waste Your Life Making Film” tattooed on the inside of her right wrist, this documentary spoke to me on a level that film geeks and movie maker wannabes could only ever understand, but it’s universal enough to where anyone who was ever young, naive and eager to make a dream come true would be able to relate to.

Fahrenheit 11/9 (Dir. Michael Moore)

Within the first ten minutes into Michael Moore’s latest documentary, I laughed, I cried, I seethed then rolled my eyes. The feeling, the horror, the anguish I felt that night on November 8, 2016 will forever haunt me till I’m dead. I know that, and so does Moore.

I have been a fan of Moore’s work for a while, and while I know many of his documentaries have a tendency to exaggerate, dramatize and downright embellish the subject he is covering, this documentary was different. For the first time, I felt as if Moore was being as honest as possible about what lies ahead in the future, in an era where we have completely forgotten about World War II and have adopted Fascism as the new political policy. It’s frightening and there is really no way to overdramatize the harmful effects of such policies.

Flower (dir. Max Winkler)

There is something to say about a good, quirky, sweet, indie dark comedy. These films don’t follow three act structures, and if they attempt to do so, they meander through the darkness of its plot before it reaches the light at the end of the film. Sometimes they wrap themselves in a demented, pretty bow and other times they find themselves further into the darkness where you have to wonder what kind of prison the filmmaker put their characters in.

With Flower, you get the former. The story starts off normal and veers left at the half-way point. Yes, there are issues with the script, the story, and it says some, forgive me for saying, “problematic” things but with indie films there is a little more leeway to get away with telling these stories. Part of you goes “Huh?” but another part accepts it as the rules set forth by the universe the screenwriter created.

Technically this film was made in 2016, but didn’t get released until earlier this year. Seeing this film in a post #MeToo era, it gives the plot more life than I’m sure the filmmakers didn’t even think about. This film doesn’t have a message it wants to convey about sex work, sexual abuse and vigilantism, and I’m glad it doesn’t. Sometimes a movie is just what it is—a movie, where its sole purpose is to entertain. Sometimes you don’t need the righteous message at the end to appease a certain sect of people. These characters are flawed, the situation they find themselves in is fucked up. I don’t need these characters to be woke bastions in the #MeToo era.

Kathryn Hahn, Tim Heidecker, Adam Scott and Zoey Deutch round out a terrific ensemble with pitch perfect chemistry. They make a harmonious cast that electrifies this film, making it so damn watchable. You forgive the flaws because the characters are charismatic. When you have a good cast, sometimes that’s enough to carry a film.

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (dir. Susan Johnson)

Yes, a film directed towards 16 year old girls managed to be one of the most memorable films of this year. I’m sure if I were 16, I would probably watch this film out of curiosity, not tell anyone I watched it until someone asked me if I watched it then gush about it.

Maybe it’s because I related to this plot line too much—writing love letters to men I have a strong affection towards, never sending them to my admirers but instead living in a realm of unrequited love and outlandish fantasies of lives never lived because it’s easier than letting someone into your heart with the potential to hurt you, possibly leave you.

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before is smart, sweet, and tender. It never underestimates its audience and explores teens and the subject of sex without it being exploitative, salacious or treating its viewer as a naive, unexperienced child. I wish this film was around when I was a teenage girl because it would have definitely made me feel less alone. I can only hope this film has eased many girls fears entering the world of womanhood, making it easier to trek the choppy waters into adulthood.

Roma (Dir. Alfonso Cuaron)

I haven’t seen this one yet, but I know it’s going to be great because Alfonso Cuaron is one of the best filmmakers of our time, and history will be most kind to his work. This is just a pre-emptive placement for this movie.

Music

The Armed, Only Love

I wasn’t familiar with The Armed until a good friend of mine gushed about their latest album, Only Love. The description he provided was “heavy metal mixed with electronic music” and since he has only ever given me good music recommendations, I figured it was worth giving them a shot.

The first few spins didn’t really grab me as much as I thought it would. Like, this was totally something I would listen to and find myself obsessed with but there was only one track that initially grabbed me and that was “Fortune’s Daughter”. Everything else just felt like background noise.

But I kept coming back to it because there was just something about the sound of this record that stuck with my brain that I couldn’t quite shake off.

I’m glad I kept listening to it because there was day in the summer where it just…made sense. It was when I had all of my windows rolled down, blaring this record at high volume down the quiet streets of Irvine, without a care in the world. It was then I realized this was a special record.

If you do any research on the band itself, you will find yourself at a dead end in regards to the band members, founders, and who really is the mastermind behind all of it. It’s suggested it could be a collective, that they alternate musicians on each record, that some of the “members” aren’t actually members but rather actors or that it’s just one dude from Converge. Interviews provided are like the equivalent of reading five Father John Misty profiles in one sitting, so I wouldn’t bog yourself down even trying to investigate this mystery unless you’re really into the Father John Misty-eque pretentiousness with a vagueness chaser.

Instead, just enjoy the music and be thankful for the person(s) who created it.

Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

Invasion of Privacy has bangers, has jams and has ballads. It’s a quintessential album where you are bound to find something you enjoy, whether it be “Drip”, “I Like It”, “Thru Your Phone” or the hit Cardi B is most well-known for, “Bodak Yellow”. The album cover feels like an homage to the Klaus Nomi and while the album itself isn’t as experimental as the cover would suggest, it’s your standard pop/hip hop album that will get you up from your butt and make you want to dance.

Cardi B has an interesting public persona that some may like and others may frown upon. It’s up for debate if whether or not she’s for real or her antics are just for show, but she definitely has a knack for making a good tune and keeping herself interesting to stay in the public eye. Her politics are also pretty good, too (Have you seen her video on how the U.S. should handle Libya? It’s Lit) I hope the arguments about her authenticity doesn’t eclipse her musical talent.

Lucy Dacus, Historian

Have girls and guitars ever been out of style? I would like to say no, but one of my favorite artists of all time, PJ Harvey, is known for slinging around a guitar. I’m also perpetually stuck in the 90’s, where much of my favorite music are women shredding a guitar.

Lucy Dacus is a girl with a guitar, but damn does she know how to work it. She pulls out a brutal punch with Historian—the first track, “Night Shift”, is nearly a seven minute ballad about a broken heart and going out of your way to avoid the person.

“You got a nine to five, so I’ll take the night shift
And I’ll never see you again if I can help it"

The lyrics to “Night Shift” are visceral that can bring anyone back to a time when they got their heart ripped out and stomped on. The efforts one will put forth to do anything and everything to get that one person out of their mind so they can finally eliminate that gnawing feeling in the pit of their stomach that feels like indigestion that will never go away, the pressure that lies on your chest that keeps you on the verge of a panic attack and the racing mind that will never let you sleep. The first track will haunt you to your core.

The entire album goes through the phases of loss, but there is an optimistic spirit to it despite the heavy lyrical content. The vocals are beautiful, the lyrics are deep and the arrangements are something to be admired.

Beach House, 7

In the land of Shoegaze Dream Pop, Beach House reigns supreme. They know how to entangle beats, vocals, and melodies into an ethereal loop that’s easy to get lost in but never difficult to find your way out. Their music creates a magical landscape that provides wonder to the listener, never veering off the path into the scary unknown while comforting you in the sparkly keyboard, breathy vocals and the stillness the harmonies carry.

7 is no different, and feels like it gets back to band’s core after Depression Cherry. While it’s worth noting the band doesn’t break new ground with this record, they do establish that they know what they’re doing and the thing they do is what they do best.

Television

Wild Wild Country

Bonkers. Completely, utterly, irrevocably bonkers. That is what this docuseries is.

I just finished this last night and my feelings on it are conflicting. There where points where I sympathized with the people of Antelope, other times where I realized they were bad and thought the Rajneeshees were victims but then thought the leaders of the movement were terrible. This series is a cluster fuck of things and emotions.

This was a cult, pure and simple. Many followers of the Rajneesh Movement were privileged, white, Western people who found a salvation in a religion they thought would be a cure-all for their dull, domestic, Western lives. The movement came along and gave them permission to let their hair down, allowing them to feel it was okay to be hedonistic in a wrapping that was sold as them changing the world to make it a better place.

For some, I truly believe they found fulfilmment. For others, I believe it did the opposite and brainwashed many into thinking they were other worldly, above the law. The pushback received by the citizens of Oregon was pushback that was to be expected of any cult that comes to town. Had this been a Western religion, I don’t believe the vitriol aimed at this group would have been so disgusting. Much of the criticism raised against the Rajneeshees were based on racism, xenophobia and genuine fear of the “other”, as the 40 people who lived in the small land of Antelope prior were white.

This docuseries has layers. It’s also funny in unexpected ways, touching in others and definitely worth the watch.

Atlanta

If you’re not watching Atlanta, you’re missing out on the best show on television. There is nothing more intriguing, original, heartbreaking and intelligent on the air right now. Add the amazing cast of people and you have an untouchable series. Donald Glover and Lakeith Stanfield make appearances on this list in separate projects they have completed, but the real breakout star of this show is Brian Tyree Henry as Paperboi, the rapper who is gaining traction in his career while figuring out which path he wants to take as he rises to fame and combats the entanglements that come along with success. This season we got to witness his flawless acting chops in the episode “Woods”. I won’t say anything about this episode except when you watch it, watch it twice. The episode has multiple layers that won’t be fully understood without the second viewing.

I love Brian Tyree Henry so much I almost put Hotel Artemis on this list because he’s just that great. I am eager to see the other projects he’ll be in in the future. The man is a treasure and we’re lucky to have him.

But watch Atlanta.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend

I’m going to come out and say it—I don’t like musicals. Never have, really. There are some good musicals out there, but characters breaking out into song, dancing out of nowhere as if there is nothing weird about belching out a tune with 20+ random people within a hundred feet around you, in the middle of the road is not something I buy nor enjoy. Crazy Ex Girlfriend, however, makes me renege on my long held opinion.

The musical numbers in the show are catchy as fuck, the characters are genuine, funny and talented as shit. It’s one of the few shows on television that is able to tackle mental illness with finesse while keeping a comedic edge. One episode this past season was difficult to watch because of how well it depicted depression and more than likely I will not be watching that episode again but it’s a great episode nevertheless.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend stays on top of social mores, consistently keeping up with the political climate and in general, just makes you feel good. This current season will be its final season, and while I’m sad to see it go, I’m also glad Rachel Bloom is making the decision to have this show end on top of its game.

GLOW

A show about a group of women wrestling in the 1980’s hardly feels stale in 2018. GLOW is one of the freshest television shows that tackles wrestling, single motherhood, dating, sex, abortions, sexuality, and pokes at the question if women can ever “have it all”. Despite the conservatism of the decade held by the Reagan administration, GLOW has no issues taking a progressive stance—letting women enter the world dominated by men but on their own terms.

It warms my heart when I see the actors of Community make other great television shows. Alison Brie has found her stride as Ruth, providing some of her best acting to date. I like to think Dan Harmon had a slight hand in shaping these actors into what they’re blossoming into today. Had we never met Annie Edison, we would have never gotten Zoya the Destroya.

BoJack Horseman

It took me almost the entire first season for me to get into BoJack Horseman, but once I did it was easy to see why this is such a critically acclaimed darling. The idea of an animated man/horse evoking deep, gut wrenching emotions while simultaneously evaluating mental health, addiction, and illness seems like a show that wouldn’t be taken seriously but it is.

Will Arnett is known for his comedic roles, and while BoJack Horseman definitely has more comedic moments than not, Arnett taps into a different side of himself to voice the titular character. Arnett provides a pensive, yet graceful voice performance in such a somber character that would be otherwise stereotyped as a fun loving, goofball animal/human character. Mr. Peanut Butter, voiced by Paul F. Tompkins, scratches that itch and provides sweet comedic relief to a show that is darker than anyone would ever anticipate.

The best writing of any show this year goes to “Free Churro”, a bottle episode filled with an entire monologue that would make William Shakespeare jealous, gets straight to the core of BoJack Horseman as a character. It’s a self-serving gesture from BoJack but manages to be sentimental and insanely depressing. BoJack is hardly a good guy, but the depiction and growth of his character over the seasons show that his selfishness, need for love, adoration and attention are character flaws that will never change but the audience keeps coming back because it makes him feel realistic even if he is just a hybrid species in cartoon form.

The Americans

The series finale of The Americans aired this year, and I still find myself in mourning. The final episode had everything—love, betrayal, trains, quick escapes, wigs, U2. The entire series was short, sweet, and to the point. and ended in a way that felt true to the world the writers created for these characters. Overall, I found myself satisfied with how everything was wrapped up. Knowing this, however, doesn’t make me any less sad that’s no longer on the air.

Even a “bad” episode of The Americans was never really bad. It still would showcase solid writing to prepare itself for the next episodes that were bound to take the viewer on an interesting ride of excitement and terror.

Besides the writing, the chemistry between Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys really solidified that magic that was The Americans (Russell and Rhys started dating shortly after shooting the series). Even in the best movies and television shows it’s hard to nail chemistry so well bonded onto a big screen. If I were to compare it to anything else in the history of film and television, I would say their chemistry gives Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in The Big Sleep a run for their money. It’s a rarity and this show greatly benefited from such a happy accident.

Big Mouth

The nastiest, grossest, sweetest, insanely hilarious show is a half-hour animated series that deals with 14 year old kids going entering the demented world of puberty. It showcases the hilarity of body development, fluids coming out of new areas, raging hormones and everything in between. I’m not kidding when I say it’s gross, I mean it’s really gross. I’m also amazed with how much weird, perverted shit they put in this show because it can get nasty. That’s not to say occasionally it will have a sweet moment where the writers show their appreciation for the characters they have created and put through adolescent hell by having them support each other through such a hellscape. Did I mention this show is gross?

There is some great voice work on this show, but hands down Maya Rudolph takes the cake for her work as Connie, the Hormone Monstress. She’s sassy, flamboyant and has introduced a new way for the public to say “Bubble Bath”. Every time I try to recreate her pronunciation, it comes out sounding like “Bwabble Baaath”. I just need Maya Rudolph in more things, saying “Bubble Bath” as much as humanly possible.

Miscellaneous Pop Culture/Icons

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Everyone has an opinion on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, whether they are on the far right or the far left. She has become a divisive figure since she was recently elected into Congress, beating incumbent Democrat Joe Crowley and causing a massive political upset. Her campaign is proof you don’t need millions of dollars from wealthy donors or Wall Street to win an election. All you need is drive, passion, and the simple skill of listening to your constituents, engaging with them in a meaningful manner to see what they need and fight for those needs with blunt force and without abandon.

To be expected, the Right are frightened of her. They are constantly attacking her policies, her statements, her history, her looks, her savings account, her clothing choices. In these attacks is an air of condescension and underestimation of how powerful she is and will be. Democrats are also frightened of her, as they feel she is not following simple political decorum and bipartisanship that has been shaped by old, rich Centrist politicians for the last two decades. To many Democrats, they feel she is too young and not experienced enough to challenge other Democratic members on their own political positions, forcing them to change their outlook on how to do politics—she hasn’t “paid her dues” yet, she doesn’t understand how the real world works and any other bullshit comment every Millennial has ever heard to prevent them from making change. This isn’t stopping her. She has conviction, which is missing from most politicians in the United States.

The Left is also rather divisive. Some of the things she has said in the past haven’t completely aligned with Leftist ideology. I don’t expect politicians to have every answer ready to go. I’m sure there are certain things she has a blind spot on, which is again, to be expected. I would like to think she has a team of people who can inform and educate her on the issues, as well as listen to these criticisms to further round out her policies and beliefs. Other individuals on the Left wonder why she isn’t moving further Left, but you can’t expect a person newly elected to Congress to say “lol fuck the government”. While a far left progressive has been elected, Ocasio-Cortez still needs to play the game and follow some of the rules if she’s going to make any significant change. In DSA, we always say it’s a marathon, not a sprint. In this case, we have to treat even Democratic Socialist politicians in the same manner but still keep pushing them Left. If we’re going to get what we want, we need people who are going to start chipping away at Capitalism to pave the way.

Do I expect politicians to save us from this mess? God no, but right now they’re vital for making changes to lead us to a path where we can dismantle Capitalism. Until she has shown she is adopting Centrist policy, I won’t disavow her for not saying “Abolish the government”. She’s coming out strong and fighting back. If she can keep this up, it may develop a new trend where we see more politicians call bullshit on the injustices of the world, changing what type of people run for Congress in the future.

“This Is America”/Donald Glover

In the past year, Donald Glover has proven himself a force to be reckoned with—he is currently writing and starring in the television show Atlanta, he has a successful rap career under the moniker Childish Gambino, he has nabbed roles in major film franchises like Star Wars and proven himself to be “woke” in an era where racism is a regular topic in the 24-hour news cycle.

Having “This Is America” drop this year was perfect timing. There are so many elements and layers the four minute video covers that could be analyzed in a thoughtful, well-researched essay. I’m sure there have been many American Studies scholars who have already devoted their time to crafting theses statements with the ultimate plan of making it apart of their research. This video is one that will be continuously referenced for many years to come, as we already see the phrase “This Is America” in Tweets, Facebook posts, and other versions of Social Media whenever something racist occurs in the world, which is now happening on a daily basis.

Glover is on a pretty good path for himself. My only wish is he doesn’t veer off the road with an overinflated ego.

Anthony Bourdain

If there was ever one white guy who just “got it”, It was Anthony Bourdain, and sadly we lost him earlier this year to suicide. Granted, I wasn’t a fan of his prior to his death. Not because I didn’t enjoy the things he wrote or television shows he made, I just never bothered to look at his work. The only thing I really knew about him was his white-hot hatred towards Henry Kissinger and that alone was enough for me to put him in the “good dude” column.

Despite all that, I still remember sitting on the toilet, silently weeping after finding out how Bourdain died. I was barely coming out of a nearly six month depression so seeing the news that he lost his long battle with a soul sucking disease hit me hard. Is this what I have to look forward to? No matter how much I fight I could still find myself wanting to end it all? How could a compassionate soul have such a dark cloud around him?

After that I started watching Parts Unknown. Witnessing Bourdain’s curiosity, fearlessness in his expeditions to different parts of world, eagerness to try anything and everything without a second thought is enormously beautiful. In certain episodes you could see a certain joy in his face, a look of love and calmness in his eyes. These episodes were the hardest to watch because you knew in those moments he was genuinely happy despite the darkness that followed him. I recognized the peaceful look plastered on his face because it looked like mine. I would be an awful liar if I said that didn’t frighten me.

To Anthony Bourdain: With all your travels, I hope you were finally able to find the one thing you were so desperate to obtain during each of your expeditions but failed to capture—inner peace with yourself.