Find Me

Lately I’ve been wondering if there is something cosmic out there that goes beyond what I can see with my own two eyes. I finished the book, Find Me, the sequel to Call Me By Your Name, and at one point Elio mentions how he goes to a certain wall where he and Oliver spent time together and he talks to the wall as if he were talking to Oliver, wanting him to come find him. He feels his presence, and sometimes can sense Oliver answering back. Oliver hears the call, and heads to Italy to find Elio.

There are things I will never understand. Circumstances that may be excused as coincidental, but could be some cosmic force, working its magic to make things happen. Who am I to say otherwise? Feelings are hardly enough physical evidence to prove something true, but it’s strong enough to make you wonder.

I do understand that deep connection with another person. I’m not sure if he can hear me in some fashion when he’s alone, but sometimes I will feel a deep longing, and I’ll miss him more than usual, and I have to wonder if that’s his feelings I am sensing on my end, or if my own longing is making me believe it’s him, crying out for me.