My Best Fiend

I did a little photoshoot in my studio last night. I haven’t done something like that since my days in college, when I was depressed, lonely, and fucking bored out of my mind.

In college it was a way to blow off some steam. I get too fidgety when I’m annoyed or angry and need something to take my mind off of these feelings. I don’t get angry enough to know how to properly channel the feelings. That’s usually when I do some artistic endeavor or rather ATTEMPT an artistic endeavor. Sometimes it’s writing. Well, that’s usually when I do it. But sometimes it’s another medium. Last night I chose photography.

I went to Home Depot, got a flood light (I’ve really been listening to Lingua Ignota too much these days) and tried to make a go of it.

When I go about these projects and I do it out of anger, I am almost feel like I’m trying to prove something. What I’m trying to prove?

That I’m capable. I’m not terrible. I know what I’m doing. I’m better than you.

I’m my own worst fiend.