Single Serving Rider

I’ve been in and out of Lyfts the past week since my car decided to blow a gasket. I’ve resigned to a life without a car now. I can’t stand them, I’m done dealing with break downs, driving in Southern California, high gas prices, nails in tires, near accidents or actual accidents, traffic, oil changes, smog checks, insurance, parking—it’s all an expensive headache. Maybe I can’t get everywhere as quickly as I’d like to, but there is something freeing about not being tied down to two tons worth of metal. It’s always been this anvil that’s hung over my head, a threat that I’ve patiently waited for it drop. I wonder why I’m so against being committed or tied down to anything, even something as simple as a car. That’s me though—always looking for the nearest exit. It’s harder to get hurt if you’re not committed to anything.

The Lyft rides have felt like speed dating. New driver with a different demeanor each ride. Different driving technique, variety of car smells and air fresheners. The sound of the blinker has its own tone, the seats have its own level of comfort. Each masked driver has their preference of cloth or surgical mask.

The second Lyft I took last week was a bit of a reckless driver. He had a lead foot, couldn’t stand staying in one lane if there was a car in front of him. He weaved in and out of lanes as if he was in a highway speed chase in a Summer action flick, tail gaiting any car that didn’t go as fast as he’d like, cutting off any car that was in his way and would force him to miss his exit. I was convinced I was going to die before I got home, and may have sprouted a new grey hair after that trip. I gave him five stars and a 20% tip.

My fourth Lyft ride was to the mechanics. My driver had been doing Lyft for seven years, and was the top driver of the country. He adhered to traffic rules, the ride was smooth. During the fifteen minute trip, I learned he was a Jehovah’s Witness. He studied numerous religions and was in a viral YouTube video where he challenged a pastor who said kids were going to burn in hell if they didn’t believe in a certain thing. He had no idea he was plastered on YouTube until he went the store one day and someone asked him about the incident and was shown the video. I asked what his reaction was to being a viral sensation and he said it was weird. He was planning on suing since he had no idea he was being filmed, but when he saw the comments that people were more enlightened because of the video, he opted from doing so. Prior to his seven years with Lyft, he was a Private Investigator who searched for missing children. He suffers from PTSD from his thirty years doing that line of work. When he was dropping me off, he accidentally went into an alley way near the garage, I told him it was okay and I could walk there but he refused and drove me to the garage. I thanked him for the entertaining and enlightening conversation. He said, “I hope it was more enlightening than entertaining”.

During the fifth Lyft ride, we found ourselves at a light that refused to change to green. It was reminiscent to that one episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete episode where Bus Driver Stu found himself at a stop light for what felt like an eternity until he lost his shit. There were at least four light changes that happened before my driver decided to get out of the turning lane and make a U-turn. When we went back through the intersection, the car behind us in the turning lane was able to turn. If we had waited a little bit longer, we would have been able to turn. It was fitting considering the fact we spent a majority of the drive talking about finding stimulation to keep the brain in fighting shape and there we were—stuck, not moving, spinning our wheels, waiting for something to change. I had a good laugh, and I got to work two minutes before I had to clock in.

For my eighth ride, I hopped a ride with a Life Coach. She asked me what I did for work then if I liked it. I told her it was a job, then she asked what my passion was. When I told her writing and photography, she asked me where I found myself three years from now, and if any of it involved my passions. I never think that far in the future, just the present. That’s what happens when you’re poor—you don’t really have a luxury of thinking that far ahead because you’re too busy trying to survive today. I’ve experienced so much failure and bad luck, I don’t want to day dream about something that’s not going to happen because it just hurts more (An aside: for someone who has a high tolerance for physical pain, I have a shockingly low tolerance for emotional pain).

I will say she made a good point—failure is a part of life, they’re learning experiences. I’m never going to get anywhere if I don’t try and put myself out there. I’ve done that so much with my photography. I’ve stopped posting my photos publicly because I convinced myself no one wants to see it, that it’s not good enough. It’s why I don’t advertise the podcast to friends. Little to no one in my personal life knows it exists—I am afraid of the judgment. I don’t want to hear their opinions about it or put them in a position where they have to lie to my face that it’s good. I don’t need to be an embarrassment, I already feel like an embarrassment. I put my heart on my sleeve with anything I create, which makes it easier to get hurt. I want people to look at what I create, but I don’t want everything else that comes with it. However the conversation with her today made me re-think at the very least to try and sell my photos again. For a Life Coach, she wasn’t that bad. At the very least, she put a smile on my face.

The Lyft rides have been nice. It’s been a long time since I haven’t had to worry about driving, it makes me feel like a kid again. It reminds me of the pre-COVID days when I didn’t mind talking to random strangers about everything and nothing. The rides themselves almost feel normal.