Clogged

Getting lost in a film or a record is the only place I feel safe enough to completely fall apart. I can experience any weird emotion I’m having through the eyes of another character without worrying how I look to the rest of the world. All of things I bottle up inside and keep from everyone else finds a way to escape if I am submerged in a film or an album that provokes any unresolved feelings. The ones that cause me to turn into a faucet are the ones that stay close to me.

I can’t verbalize how I feel, it’s too difficult. I use simplistic statements to explain general emotions but elaborating on those feelings is close to impossible. So instead I rely on a good movie or emotive song to explore that more in depth. My issues with my increasing anger these days seems to be the fact I can’t expand on what I feel other than anger and hurt. I’m trying and I’m just…stuck.

Photography has been my go-to this past year to share my emotions even if it’s far from obvious but these days its hard to find inspiration. My ire has gummed up all of my creative output and I just am having a hard time finding any kind of emotional release. I think that’s where my frustration lies. If I can unplug that, I think I can get to the bottom of these feelings I can’t seem to unleash from inside me.